Finding my voice
By Ezra, StandOut Trainee
Ezra took part in StandOut in HMP Pentonville last summer. Since leaving prison, Ezra has been working hard to get closer to his personal goals with the support of the StandOut coaches backing him every step of the way.
It was summer 2021 and the prison was still in lockdown. John was knocking on doors to see if anyone was interested in doing this course - I was sceptical. But then I thought i would do anything to break up the monotony of being banged up in my cell for 23 hours every day.
Once I got into the classroom for the first day of the StandOut workshop, I realised it was a unique opportunity. It was unlike any course I’d done before, and turned quickly into something that I was actually really intrigued by. It felt different because the coaches genuinely cared about individuals' improvement and were committed to being there for us in the long run, both inside and once released. I could tell from day one that StandOut is an organisation that wants to see people flourish.
Taking part in StandOut gave me something to look forward to every day. I had become very antisocial in prison - I didn’t even speak to my cell-mate much. I was still trying to get my head around the feelings of letting myself down… on reflection, I was beating myself up and I shut down.
Having to be vocal, articulate and get my points across during the StandOut workshop sparked a little revival in me. I began to find my voice again. As well as improving my confidence, I learnt how to channel my emotions and look at things from a different perspective. StandOut has also helped me to control my mood swings which - to be honest - used to get me in trouble before.
Since leaving prison in Summer 2021, time has gone quickly. After coming off of tag, I was able to apply the tools to control any nerves during job interviews. and I secured a job at a hotel in Birmingham in the financial department.
I had to deal with a lot of nay-sayers but StandOut backed me all the way. I’ve learnt to expect negativity from some people and now I am able to process those emotions and not let it get to me. I have so much ambition, there are people who don’t understand what I am capable of achieving - and that’s OK. Their opinions don’t matter; I just keep plodding along, go out there and make it happen!
Working in the hospitality industry is new to me but I’m really enjoying the work and everything that having a job brings - structure, independence, friendship, confidence. I’m constantly learning and continuing to knuckle down to work towards my goals.
I’m settled at the moment; I’m working and I’m stable in terms of finances. The next step is to move into my own place and be in a position where I can have my kids on the weekend. I’ll never get rid of John’s number. He’s always told me if I’ve got any problems or I need any help he will be there.
Life’s got a funny way of throwing you curveballs, it’s how you deal with them that counts.